


Kablooie Duck shouldn't ever meet his bio father.

by KingFranPetty



Series: Kablooie and Phooey in Non Canon! [8]
Category: Disney Duck Universe, DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Anger, Anger Management, Attempted Murder, Beating, Cussing, Daddy Issues, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Death Threats, Father Figures, Impulse Control, Insults, Language, Multi, Rage, References to Frankenstein, Swearing, Threats, Threats of Violence, Violence, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:34:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26280469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: Kablooie has issues...
Relationships: Della Duck/Huey Dewey and Louie's Father
Series: Kablooie and Phooey in Non Canon! [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776496
Comments: 14
Kudos: 2





	1. I saw Mommy kissing Santa

Santa Claus put some coal in Kablooie's stocking. The Jolly, Red, Man heard footsteps behind him. Saint Nick turned around to see a orange duckling staring up at him. Kablooie Duck asked curiously, "Santa? Are you my daddy?" The Polar Bear patted the preteen duckling and chuckled, "Ho Ho HO! Why do you think that, little boy?" The orange duckling narrowed his firey, orange, eyes behind his sunglasses. The firey duckling boiled his words as angry little tears came, "You are, aren't you?!" The magical figure sweated a little bit in nervous stress.

The orange eyed duckling grabbed an arm chair and swung it. The old man backed away and began to panic. Kablooie dragged the arm chair and fumed in rage, "You **MOTHERFUCKER** , _Why did you **make** me **LIKE THIS**_!?!" The orange eyed duck swung wildly at the older man with murderous intent. The North Pole inhabitant climbed up to the bookcase and tried to balance to avoid murder attempts. Kablooie smashed the chair against the bookcase repeatedly, shrieking with burning anger, " **WHY DID YOU MAKE ME**!?!"

Kablooie Duck threw the chair but it only got stuck in the wall. The burnt ducking flamed as he clawed at the bookcase, "You motherfucker!! I'll _Fucking_ **_KILL_** You! You **_ABANDONED My FAMILY_**!!!" The flaming duckling then started to snarl and snap and foam at the mouth and bark in animalistic mad. Then Scrooge McDuck walked down the stair, yelling, "What the FUCK is going on?!" He turned on the light switch to see... Well, that. The red coat stared blankly at this in bafflement. Father Christmas awkwardly waved and greeted, "Hello..."

The End.

Send in your Triplet's bio father Headcanons so Kablooie can beat the SHIT out of them.


	2. Jim Starling, You are the Father!

Negaduck was entering his abandoned factory home but paused as he got a odd feeling. Like he was being watched... A voice of a little boy asked bluntly, "Are You the sperm donor?" The super villain stood there as he tried to hold back a laugh. Negaducky chuckled in joke, "Sure thing kiddo. I totally fucked your mom." Then there was laughing, the villain slowly turned around as he saw a little kid that was just laughing his head off. The boy has sharp teeth and claws and eyes like atomic explosions. The bad guy blinked as he awkwardly backed away.

However he was too slow, the nuclear bomb grabbed his cape. The fireball burned his words in steam, "I was already going to kill you but now... Now I'm going enjoy making you suffer." The baddie went to yank his cape away as he grumbled loudly, "Let go of me, you stupid little shit!" The cape was yanked down. The firebird kicked the adult back up to his full height and yanked him back down, basically yo-yoing using a cape. "You know, it was a really shitty idea to have a cape, shit for brains." The edgy preteen boy boosted with pride.

The supervillain wasn't going to be beat up by a literal child. So the former actor stomped down on the wrist, trying to regain his balance from his dizzy state. The brief pause allowed the edgy preteen to grabbed the ankle and yank him off balance. Kablooie Duck dragged the old duck off to the door. Jim sat up, rubbing his head. There was a sound of metal ripping. The former star looked up, seeing a firecracker holding the door to the factory. The metal door was raised above his head. The atomic bomb snarled, "See you in hell, Motherfucker." The door went to smash but the former superstar had rolled away.

The masked man wished he brought his chainsaw. The firework noticed that his target had survived, he boiled aloud, "You deadbeat bastard, why do you have to guts to keep living when you didn't have the guts to stay!?" The metallic door was thrown at the costumed man. The sharp tooth duck ducked then shouted back at the sharp toothed duckling, "I lied, I'm not your Fucking dad, crazy son of fucker!!"

The boiled egg marched over, fuming, "Why did you make me like you!?! I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU LYING CHEATING FRAUD!!" Starling had already gotten back up to his feet and was back pedaling as fast as he come as he wondered how someone who hadn't hit puberty was strong enough to rip apart metal. The firey duckling started to run at him and scream, "I Know it's you because I'm just like you!" Starlight felt the brick wall and moved aside just as the actual child punched. The punch was something like a bomb. The brick wall had a heavy dent in it now.

The fist was still in the wall as the orange duckling turned his head and breathed out, "YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS."

The burnt duckling almost growled in rage, "I'll never forgive you." The hand was removed from the bricks. Now, Jim Starling isn't the smartest man but he wasn't dumb enough to take a punch from what was seeming less and less like a kid. The villain scrambled up a fire escape and pulled the ladder up before the blaze could follow him. The flame stared blankly up at the metal frame before picking up a trashcan and throwing it up at him and shrieking angrily, "COME DOWN AND DIE, COWARD!!" The metal form managed to shied the adult man from the little boy's murder attempts.

It was about this time that Negaduck hoped Darkwing Duck would get here.


	3. Frankenstein's Creation Complex

Kablooie Duck grabbed the tan pants and yanked them lightly a few times. Gyro Gearloose looked down and groaned, "What do you want, you little Arsonist?" Kablooie asked flatly, "Are you my daddy, Gyro?" Gyro rolled his eyes and went back to his work. The Science Chicken jokingly noted harshly in distaste, "Given how my creations are buggy or evil, and the fact of Dumbella, it wouldn't surprise me if you and Phooey were mine." The child blinked a few times and cocked his head. The Arsonist lit a match and added in emotionless malice, "Why don't you love me, Creator?"

That got Gearloose's attention immediately.

Doctor Gearloose backed away slowly as he shaked in his voice, "Oh God, it's... It's! It's Frankenstein's Creation Complex!!" The match was dropped into a bottle of something flammable. The explosion sent the scientific chicken flying back. The preteen boy stood there, pouring flammable liquids on himself, asking as angry tears formed, "Why did you make me like this?" Another match was lit and the fire proof flammable duckling was set aflame, then he began walking closer to his "creator." The science man shaked his head of the blast, looked up to see... Well that, and immediately scrambled in fear. 

Doctor Gyro Gearloose climbed up a shelf and shaked in fear. The thin, tall, chicken yelled down, "I lied! It was just a joke God Fucking Dammit!! For the love of God!!!" The flaming duckling then picked up a chair and calmly replied, "Yes, for the love of God." Then proceed to hit the shelf with the chair. The scientific man screamed in fear. The firey duckling growled softly, "Why did you make me?" The adult male tried to look for an escape.

The man chicken shouted for help, "Fenton! Manny! Someone please!!" The firebird poured more flammable liquids on himself and felt his powers rise with the flames. The preteen boy picked up the shelf. The adult screamed loudly as he scrambled for somewhere to escape. The hipster grabbed the railing and climbed up in panic. The Atomic Bomb snarled, "You made me like this... Why did you make me like this, Creator!?!" The chair was thrown and it missed. The engineer curled up and started sobbing in fear. The Nuclear Bomb screamed, "WHY DID YOU MAKE ME LIKE THIS!!?"

That's about the time Fenton walked in.


	4. Darth Vander Plot Twist.

The Mad Ducktor yawned as he spun his chair to face his hostage. His hostage burned holes into his soul with those orange eyes. The orange eyed duckling put his hands against the glass as he narrowed his eyes as they boiling in nuclear. The super villain chuckled, "So... You have any last words?" It was a joke. It was stupid to kill the hostage before payment. The preteen thought a moment then asked, "Do you know who my dad is?" Mad Ducktor was amused but couldn't say an answer. So he made up one, "I'm your father." The mad scientist turned around to return to his villain actions.

There was a thump on the glass. Then a harsh crack of glass. The next noise was just shattering of glass.

Ducktor turned around quickly to see the glass prison broken from the inside out. The orange duckling stepped out, a heat was waving from him from sheer rage. The pink haired man got up from his chair and panickedly searched for something. The edgy preteen steamed, "You... You Motherfucker!" A home made glass bottle bomb exploded a few feet away. The baddie gripped the blaster, pointing his weapon at the arsonist. The bad guy barked, "Get back! I swear I'll shoot!!" The firebird cracked his neck and lit a match, words like snoke from his bill, "Shoot me fucker."

The lab coat squeezed the trigger but his jaw dropped as he realized something. The laser had no effect! The flame fumed, "I'm immune to fire, dipshit." He threw the match. The chicken backed away from the small fire. The fire proof flammable ran at him. The green eyed chicken swiped his boot under the blaze, he was an adult and it really isn't that hard to fight a child. Even if said child is super powered. The super genius bent down and mocked, "Ahhhhhh, does it hurt? Want daddy to kiss it better?" A rubber gloved hand grabbed the back of the orange tank top. He brought the child up to his face.

The Ducktor giggled evilly, "Face it, I'm just far superior to you." The little boy raised his webbed foot and kicked his face. The adult grabbed his beak and grunted at the pain. The child wildly clawed and snarled at him. The bad guy huffed, "You little SHIT!" The firebug replied in kind, "Get fucked! I'll beat you to death with your own bones!!" The fireball struggled against him as he attempted to murder him. Mad Ducktor poked him and snarled, "Shut your damn bill, insolent... Ow!!" The sharp toothed duck bit his gloved hand. The mad scientist yanked his hand away.

Kablooie Duck spat, "Why did you make me like this!?!"

The green eyes glared at him and breathed out with malice, "I didn't make you, I lied idiot!"

Kablooie bited his beak, clawing at him.

The evil clone yelled in pain and pryed him off. The Hyde dashed for the door, smashed the button, he shouted, "I give up, Duck Avenger! I know you are there, please please save me! This child is a Monster!!" In the background with the roar of a fire that consumes the country side, "WHY DID YOU MAKE ME LIKE THIS?!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"


	5. Darth Vander Plot Twist 2

John Davison Rockerduck picked up the orange duckling, he smiled at the idea of being rewarded by the leader's F.O.W.L. All he had to do is deal with this ankle biter and bring it to the vultures. The orange duck glared at him and spoke, "You worthless SHIT, I'm going to floss my teeth with your spine." The rich duck rolled his eyes then spat back, "Oh yeah, Ragamuffin? Well.... I dipped my quill in your mother's inkwell!" The preteen duckling cocked an eye. The preteen questioned him further, "What's that supposed to mean, shit stain?"

The rich duck followed through on his lie even though he'd been iced too long for it to be possible, "I had a real fun time having sex with your mother, that's what it means." The boy duckling swelled up with hot, angry, tears. The old timey villain laughed at the suffering then mocked, "What? You gonna cry? Want dad to make it better?" The tiny glasses felt his bill smashed in. He was headbutted. The villain dropped the child. It was silent for a moment. This silence was quickly broken by the flame breaking a pipe. Rockerduck yelled, "Jeeves!"

Jeeves walked into the scene. However he didn't get much time shine because Kablooie Duck beat the ever living FUCK out of him. The bodyguard backed up as the metal pipe bent as he was struck again and again. Finally the dognose fell over as the pipe curved into a hook. There was a clatter of metallic noises. John Rockerduck fell ontop his backside, whimpering, "Jeeves?" Kablooie turned his head to him. Orange eyes burned into him. "I'm going to make you suffer." The fire breathed out smoke.

The white dressed duck scrambled backwards in fear. The blaze fumed, "Tell me, why you made me like this." The adult male attempted get away but he was yanked by his tie, the little boy wrapped the tie around his knuckles and boiled, "Tell me right Fucking now why you made me like this." The adult man couldn't speak for how much he was sobbing. 

Kablooie slammed him head against a wall and demanded, "TELL ME YOU DAMN DEADBEAT!!"

The baddie cried, "I didn't! I swear to God I didn't!! Please sweet Jesus Christ in heaven, I am not your father!" The firey duckling looked down at him with disgust, undoing the wrapped tie and walking away. The Edgy Preteen spat, "You disappoint me. Next time, I'm removing your kneecap privileges."


	6. Darth Vander Plot Twist 3

Bradford, Bentley, and Buford Buzzard were hiding as something banged against the door. The Buzzard Brothers looked at each other in fear. Bradford Buzzard yelled at his brothers, "What in God's Fucking Name did you say to him?!!" Bentley Buzzard curled into a ball as he basically shut down mentally. Buford Buzzard panickedly explained, "I just wanted to... You know. So I told him I knew his dad." The leader of their group face palmed and groaned. In the background a door was smashed off it's hinges, but it was behind a few more doors.

Bentley stated in an emotionless flatness of shock tone, "He's getting closer. Oh God, he's getting closer." There was a roar of flames and some booms of explosions. Bradford shouted at him, "Do you think I don't FUCKING know that?! I can hear him, GOD DAMN IT!!" There was another slam of a door being ripped off it's hinges. Buford panicked, "He thinks one of us is his birth father! Bradford, You have to do something!! Call the rest of F.O.W.L. or or or..." The middle vulture slapped him and nearly snarled, "SHUT Your DAMN BEAK! There's no more F.O.W.L anymore, You MORON!!"

There was another explosion.

The suited vulture leader fumed, "You fucked us, Buford! FOWL is Fucking Done, that God Damn horror destoried it!!" Fire alarms blared in the background. Bentley began sobbing as he covered his eyes. The red lights flashed as it showed the background. It seemed like a cement room in an underground bunker. Another suited vulture cried out, "Oh God! Oh please dear God!" Another kaboom shook the building. This is about the time Bradford started drinking heavily. Bentley sobbed, "Jesus Christ! What is he?! What in God's name is he!?!"

Yeahhh, this is what you idiots get for trying to groom and assault a child. I'm not helping no matter much you plead to God.

Bradford commented, "Eh. Still better than the alien invanders. Do either of you remember where we kept the cyan pills in case SHUSH got to us?" Then a metallic creaking noise rang out before the earth shaking blast followed. Buford nervously pointed out, "The pills are all expired... They won't work. At least not fast enough." Everything was silent other than the alarms. The alarms went out with a smashing crash sound. Flip. Flop. Flip. Webbed footsteps were coming down the hallway. A voice like a supervillain made of smoke and fire whispered loud enough to be heard through the walls, "You did this to meeeeee. You made me like thisssssssss."

Something like claws on glass.

More extremely loud whispering, "Why father? Why did you make me like this father?"

The leader of the board of directors downed the rest of his drink upon hearing that.

"Whyyyyyyyyy fatheeeeeerrrrr? Why did you leave mom? Why did you hurt our family? Why did you make mmmmeeeee liiiiikkke thHHIIIIIIISSSSSSS?!" The ever more distorted voice cried out. Thub, thub. Slow but violent pounding against the door. No more doors but this very last one. The buzzard who never talks spoke up, "After I told him that I knew his father, he just set himself on fire but it kept getting worse. He just got hotter flames by more dangerous weapons and it only seemed to make him more powerful... I think our own firepower to try to slow him down made it worse."

The door cracked open as a clawed flaming hand bust into the room. "You abandoned meeee, fa-ther." Kablooie Duck crackled like a camp fire, "You won't run away ever again!" The door shattered into a million bits. Kablooie entered as he shrieked, "YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!"

Then there was only screaming.


	7. The Real Sperm Donor

Daffy Duck walked up to the McDuck Mansion and tried to get himself ready. Scrooge McDuck is going to be happy to see him but he felt like seeing Della. However, before Daffy could enter, a preteen duckling slammed open the doors. The little boy stomped over, going off, "Mother said you are the sperm donor!" The white striped neck duck blinked a few times in surprise before nodding a little. The black feather posed then gave out his hand to shake, "Yep, I'm your daddy! Put er there!" The Edgy preteen boy lit a match and set his hand on fire before going to grab it. The orange duckling grinned wickedly as he smoked his words, "Charmed."

The adult male pulled his hand away. The man chuckled nervously, "You are... New." The orange duck grabbed him and yanked him down. Instead of the whole adult coming down, half a black coat of feathers came down. Kablooie stared at the naked yet half naked form for a minute before throwing the coat at him. The loony duck was trying to put on his coat, the flaming duckling climbed up him to beat the ever living ducking hell out of him.

The naked man screamed like a lady whose getting her clothes ripped off by accidentally. The orange tank top gripped him by the shoulders and slapped him a couple times to get him to stop screaming. The flame shaped, orange, sunglass yelled at him, "SHUT UP, Shut the FUCK up!!" The bill fell off at one harder slap. The black duck (Species) glared at his child, before putting back on his beak. Finally, he huffed, "How dare you speak that way to your father!?!" The fingerless, spiked, black, gloves sighed before slapping his bill to the other side of his head.

The sharp toothed duck snarled, "You deadbeat motherfucker, You aren't my father. You abandoned mommy!"

The carnivorous avian then wrapped his clawed hands around the strip of the neck and began to strangle him while pushing and pulling said neck violently. The firey duckling grew louder and louder as he ranted, "You abandoned us, our entire family. Do you even know what happened to mommy? Do you know what happened to my brothers?! Do you!?! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! I'LL RING YOUR SPINE!! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME!? WHY DID YOU MAKE LIKE THIS!!? ANSWER ME, FUCKER!!!" While this violence was happening, Daff took the time to redo his makeup and set his bill back.

The strangling ended about the time that Kablooie Duck started crying big, fat, hot, tears as he sobbed into the shoulder and clawing into him like a cat about to be bathed.

This really didn't affect the loony as he'd been through much worse violence. So he just patted his back as waiting for this temper tantrum to end. The burned duckling whined, "Why am I like this? Why did you do this to me?" The adult duck just shrugged and picked him up to set him down.

The possible mallard remarked, "I don't have answers for your issues, kiddo. I just got the genes I gave ya. Now excuse me, I have to go see your mom." Before walking away. The burnt duckling thought a moment then went running off to follow him as he shouted, "You disappear for 12 years and expect to get laid?! When I get my hands out you, You damn dirty little FUCKING!!!"

The End! 

And That's why Kablooie Duck should never meet his bio father!


End file.
